Make peace with being alone

“… loneliness allows us to look honestly and without aggression at our own minds. We can gradually drop our ideals of who we think we ought to be, or who we think we want to be, or who we think other people think we want to be or ought to be. We give it up and just look directly with compassion and humor at who we are. Then loneliness is no threat and heartache, no punishment.” -Pema Chodron

A man asked me to go on a second date with him and I politely declined. His response via text message was comical but it came from a place of loneliness. Our first date involved a few casual drinks and the need-to-know details. “Guy from Queens” was kind and straight-forward, things I admire, but I saw a few warning signs in the details he chose to share about his life. He mentioned that he recently broke up with his live-in girlfriend of five years. Then quickly added that it had been ten months… He was now living with his uncle, an intense divorcé and wanted to move out but he didn’t mention an action plan. I don’t fault him for it, but I sensed during our first date that he was already hoping I might be the person he would be moving in with. It’s nice to want to fall in love and you should go into any relationship with an open mind but you also need to be aware that things can get messy FAST. Trust your instincts because loneliness will not lead you to the best decisions. Eff the funk and make peace with being lonely.

Take a bath

The uncomfortable, sticky feeling you have at the end of the day? I don’t know if your parents told you… but it’s dirt, oil, and dead skin. Naturally, you’ll take a bath to wash it away. I hope.

Similarly, your mindset is often shrouded with negative emotions by the end of the day. Do you actively wash them away or do you go to bed in a funk? Suggestions for temporarily alleviating the funk: meditate, exercise, journal, talk it out, create art…

Here is a short video interview with a nontraditional group of people who are mindful about washing away negativity. Their methods may not entice you, but their end goal is aspirational: eff the funk and push away negativity.

Consume produce in-season

I overheard someone complaining that her apple wasn’t very fresh at lunch the other day. June isn’t peak apple season in the northeast region of the US. If there is a demand for apples in the off-season, most grocery stores will supply them. Whether they are fresh is a different story. Below you can see a guide for fruit (applies to the greater New York area) that I swiped from the FreshDirect website. I love those guys.

Push yourself out of the funk of eating-food-that-tastes-not-so-great-but-is-supposed-to-be-healthy. Eat fruits and veggies that are in-season for your local area. (Click the image to see a larger size) Healthy food can taste good. Promise.